Status1. I can’t be with you So all I will do is sleep. Please don’t wake me up from this dream For it’s all of you that I can keep
Status2. As I lay in my bed looking at the sky I thought ‘Were the heck did my ceiling go?
Status3. This is a sad and funny away message. The sad thing is you’re IMing me expecting me to read your message and return. The funny thing is that I’m at my computer desk laughing the whole thing up right now.
Status4. If you sleep with a girl without protection, you’re having sex with everyone your partner had sex with before. So if your girlfriend slept with a guy, who slept with your ex g/f, who you slept with, technically you could be screwing yourself.
Status5. I am off in that wonderful land where I can have anything i want!! When i wake up i’ll have to face reality for the next 12 hours so !!Leave me alone!!
Status6. Looking in the mirror Here’s what I see A sad little girl staring back at me She acts so tough And so grown up But that’s not who she really is And it’s not who she wants to be I know this because that little girl is Me
Status7. Somewhere there’s someone who dreams of your smile and finds your presence in life worthwhile so when you are lonely remember it’s true somebody somewhere is thinking of you.
Status8. You know what pisses me off? People who point at the wrist when asking the time, i know where my watch is buddy where they f**k is yours? I mean do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??
Status9. I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again

Status10. The sky was dark, The moon was high, We were alone, just her and I, Her hair was brown, her eyes were too I knew just what she wanted to do, So with my courage I did my best, I placed my handupon her breast, I trembled and shook and felt her heart, Slowly she spread her leags apart, I knew she was ready, But I didnt know how, It was my first try,
Status11.At milking a cow.